Jokes

Family Men


Three men are in a bar, all very drunk, and talking to each other, bragging about their families.

The first guy says, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team." 

The second guy says, "That's nothin'. I have eleven sons. One more and I'll have a football team."

The third guy, the drunkest of them all replies "You guys haven't found true happiness. I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

Half Hour Late

A couple of weeks ago, I played with new member who shot an even par 72. We had fun during the round, so I asked him if he wanted to play next week.
 
He said: "Sure, but I might be a half hour late." 
 
The following week he shows up right on on time, and sets up on the first tee this time playing left- handed. Again he shoots a 72.I asked him if he wanted to play again next week. 
 
He replied: "Sure but I might be a half hour late."
 
I then asked him :"How come some times you play right- handed and other times, left-handed."
 
He said :"When I wake up in the morning and my wife is sleeping on her left side, I play left- handed and if she is on her right side, then I play right- handed."
 
I then ask ;"So,what if she is laying flat on her back?"
 
"That's when I'll be a half hour late!" he replied

Golf Quotes

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan.  Today it's called the PGA Tour.

If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt.

If you break 100, watch your golf.  If you break 80, watch your business.

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.

In golf, you keep your head down and follow through.  In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through.  It's a big difference.

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