The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It's a big difference.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.
Do you want to get more distance ? Hit it and run backward.
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
