Golf Quotes

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan.  Today it's called the PGA Tour.

If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt.

If you break 100, watch your golf.  If you break 80, watch your business.

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.

In golf, you keep your head down and follow through.  In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through.  It's a big difference.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.

Do you want to get more distance ? Hit it and run backward.

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers...

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another  study found gol [ ... ]

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphe [ ... ]

10 Best Answers from Caddy to Golfer

#10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down [ ... ]

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Bett...

#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9... You can stop in the middle and have a [ ... ]

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of t...

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest scor [ ... ]

Embarassing Medical Exams

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my s [ ... ]

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