Jokes

The F*** Word

This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend.

The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language."

The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue.

Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church.

The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" 

The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees."

The priest said, "And that's when you swore." 

I Wanna Buy A Golf Ball

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.

Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.

The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.

As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"

"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"

Golfing with Older Man

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. 

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers...

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another  study found gol [ ... ]

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphe [ ... ]

10 Best Answers from Caddy to Golfer

#10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down [ ... ]

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Bett...

#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9... You can stop in the middle and have a [ ... ]

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of t...

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest scor [ ... ]

Embarassing Medical Exams

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my s [ ... ]

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